You stop to take the briefest of glances at gitter. It seems as though the latest release name has been getting some nontrivial attention as of late. Jason had attempted to warn the masses about the dangers, about the placid island of ignorance in the bay of benightedness on which we dwell in the midst of black seas of boundlessness. He had pleaded to no avail that it was not meant that we should voyage far. And the masses had not listened, nay, instead, he found himself shuddering, having to once again laboriously type Gaprindashvili, a name that chills his soul when he think of it and maddens him when he dreams of it. And so it was that Jason ended up cursed by the Gods of Very Long Names, who turn into The Gods Who Say… ekki-ekki-ekki-ekki-ptang-zoom-boing-mrowr!
Please bear in mind carefully that you did not see any actual visual horror at the close. The weekly blog has just been merged, and there is some slight commotion in the office as your coworkers pull it up. Unbeknownst to all, and thusly rendered in such a way as to not disclose particulars that may fatefully change the course of existence, however, a past blog post had a broken link which led to an alternate dimension. Instead of easter eggs of cheese sandwiches and Better Off Ted, this link led to some alternate dimension which allows the dreaded Hounds of Tindalos entrance, despite the fix to further check if extract method returns an empty xml node. And searching out obvious weakness, for they travel in the cracks of time, they alight on your vivid digital footprint rendered through a seemingly innocent
git pause. Woe is you, for you are the next unlucky victim.
In fits of madness, shrieking and waving your arms frantically, sometimes lapsing into an inane titter or a whisper about “the monsters from the angles of time”, you start liberally applying tape to all the corners of what few rooms you can still stand to inhabit, muttering about the evils of corners, covering mirrors and windows, starting erratically at dogs, and avoiding smoke. It is lucky for you that you are not even slightly more imaginative. Even as things are, your mind bends ever so infinitesimally. You go violently insane. Even the use of correct model class for saving OrchestrationTemplate or the removal of jasmine from Gemfile and its subsequent move to the ui cannot help you redeem your soul.